Mariposa, Mariposa

Swift, fleeting moments


My legs were burning as we climbed up the loose path, the smell of dirt filling my nose, my heart beating in my ears, telling me to keep going, keep going – one foot at a time.

Giggling at the selfie stick, taking a small gasp as we looked up to see the silhouette of the mountains and what appeared to be a hazy looking 3 pm sunset in the distance, and pushing the soft sandy soil with each step I opened my heart to these souls who I am just getting to truly know but who feel like old friends. Seeking advice, their wisdom, like an older brother and sister. So thankful for each of them, so much so and they don’t even know it.

Getting lost but also finding the bluest water, the smoothest rocks, the biggest cliff. The soft roar of the rushing current, the wind whipping and rustling the trees, the ominous sky. Yet still, the air is crisp and clean, the water clear. And for that swift and fleeting moment, everything is perfect.

We realized we had to turn around, as there was no way to cross the river. Lost, yet still on the path. We took a wrong turn at the very beginning and never went up, only out, our feet {one at a time} taking us without listening to our brains or the map.

Sometimes I doubt myself so much. I feel down, I feel lost – even though I have tools {I have a map} to help me. But I try to remind myself that {just like our hike} I can find my way. I can accomplish things. Slowly but surely. With lots of mistakes, lots of messes. And maybe that’s really the only way. Because amongst those frustrations and feelings of giving up, we can only hope for and appreciate those swift, fleeting moments where everything feels okay, where our confidence is restored, where we are shown kindness, where we are appreciated.

And all of those things help keep me going. One foot at a time.