Mariposa, Mariposa

To Stay


Almost two months since I stopped teaching, almost a month since I have returned home. A swirl of travels, of adventures, of planes and buses and cars. A blur of Christmas parties and family gatherings and brief but lovely visits with friends and New Years.

And then January – the blue, white, crisp, sunny month that I love to complain about and dread. The cold, bitter month that hits you sharply, the same way the freezing wind whips across your face and hands when you step out of the car.

But, also the slowness it brings after the holidays that I haven’t truly felt until today. The snow blankets the morning, and as I walk down the stairs I am greeted by the vibrant sun reflecting off of the light powder that gently coats the neighborhood, I am hit with the quietness and stillness I feel.

I find myself missing my family, my students, my fellow teacher friends in Chile. Missing my house and my roommates and my work in college. Missing all those things that were familiar to me and that made me laugh, that challenged me, and that shaped me into the person I am now.

I struggle with sitting still. I always am tempted to go – somewhere, anywhere, rather than here. But maybe this time, I should resist the temptation – and stay.